Lost Friends and Days Gone By

Maybe it is just getting old, or a touch of nostalgia, or just becoming senile. Who knows, but I found myself trying to look up old friends on the Internet. Let me tell you, that is no easy task. This is especially so, when so many years have past. I don't know what has gotten me in this mood, but I just feel a need to reach out and connect with people I loved so long ago. Like those from my days at Little Rock AFB. When you are in the service you are sometimes more than just friends, but you become family. Now finding the guys is hard enough, but how do you find the women when many may have taken on another name?
I tell you there are many people who I have walked along with through my life. They remain in my memory and always will. Some, I remember their face, in one particular case, their shape, but forgotten their name. Some may have passed on like my good friend Reverend Purdie. I was spiraling down, drinking heavily, when that man helped me to name my demons and turn my life around. My Air Force career would have been ruined and was very close to being so, had he not sat me down. There was Carl, one of the other cooks, but I can't remember his last name, and of course, Rose Marie Harris. All good people. My partner in crime, Mark Watts. We had such a great time together. I had one of the best teams with Mark, Mary Hernandez (engaged at the time to Oscar Ortiz), Yung Cho Healey, Candy Hart, Dottie Chavers, Mama san Chung, Aura Tyte ( I think that was how you spelled her name.) Candy was Dottie's Daughter. Dottie and her husband Jim and I were friends after work also. Oh, and Blondie. I will always remember her as Blondie, though for the life of me can't remember her real name. Others that I hung around with or teamed with every now and then, Dave Kristofferson, Clay Wickham. Clay, his wife Sue, and Karen Shadowens used to hang together. I still remember Noreen Malenga who was Karen's roommate and whom I dated for a bit. My buddy Carl Bullock, who at first we were at each others throat and old Dusty Rhodes had to separate us, but in the end, we were the mobility team that went every where together. There was Ron Krank, and Manny Roman. Roger Samples did the crash kitchen. Bubba Brown and the Bubbettes. Bubba and Clay were from up my way as well as Ron. I remember the uptimes and the down times when we lost Washington in a plane crash. He had come through the line that night and Mark and I fed him, joked as we usually did. I got the call later that night that the plane went down and to alert mortuary services that they had bodies coming in. It still makes me cry to remember that night.
I remember Jim Chavers having to go in for a procedure, er um, down below. Dottie rolled when I stopped at Bayou Catfish Kitchen and brought Jim's favorite. Beans with Jalepenos. I can still hear him when I shut his El Camino's doors, "Take it easy Croft, this ain't a Ford". I had a Torino at the time. I had the hots for Candy, but then so did every other guy on the base. I used to go to her apartment and I think her roommate had the hots for me. She must have, she came out one time in a towel and just let it drop. I just wish I could remember her name. As it turned out, we had mutual relations around the third cousin level.
I tell you if it wasn't for Reverend Purdie, I would have missed out on some great times and some great people. I just wish I could reconnect with some. I found Cruize on Classmates a few years back. I'll never forget when a bunch of us jumped in Danny Stephens truck and drove up to Heber Springs to jump off the cliffs. We put a vodka bottle in the end of a watermelon and wrapped it in a towel. As we drop up the road with it cradled, it looked like we were giving vodka to a baby. The looks we got, but boy was that watermelon good. Of course, drinking and jumping off cliffs isn't exactly smart and I got a broken toe out of the deal, but hey, young, stupid, yep, me.
Another time, Kristofferson and I took a bunch of people out horseback riding. Kris and I used to go to this place a lot and were familiar with the horses. I always took Red, he was on Whitey. One of the guys that came said he was experienced so they gave him Blue. Well, Kris and I trotted on up ahead of the others because the slow pace was killing us. When I came back to check on the others, they were pointing into the woods and told me that Blue took off that way. I told them to wait for Kris and took off into the woods. I got Blue and darn, I can't remember his name, cornered in some brush. I told him to get off Blue and get on Red. He did and then started arguing with me about which way to go to get back to the others. He started off away from everyone, but heh, Red was trained, I whistled for him and he turned around with Ozzie cursing me. I got him back to the others and he had to listen to the ribbing. I guess not everyone from Oklahoma knows how to ride.
Of course there we were caught off guard. We pulled a twelve overnight one time and then took off to Heber Springs for the day. Got back in time to go back to work and pull another twelve. Dog tired by morning and ready to hit our racks when I got the call. Call your men in, this is an alert. Dang, so much for sleep. Wait until the next crew came in to relieve, off to the barracks, change into fatiques, grab duffle and head to the flight line, off to Missouri, set up camp, and then finally get to crash. I was wiped by the time we got back to base, but there was Fred Jenkins telling me I had to work, but sending Mark home. Well, he was married and his wife missed him. Dang, I hated being single at times.
I guess those days in the service will always stay with me. I was fortunate to be between wars. The closest I came was when the hostages were taken in Iran. We were mounted up and ready to go. With the team I had, I think we could have pulled it off. Had I not been stuck in Arkansas for my full hitch, I might have reupped. If they had given me England, I would have been there. Instead, I let my Irish get up and quit the service. Heck, I could have been retired by now.
So if any of you happen along Bossier City and run into Dottie and Jim, tell them I said hey! Last I knew, Mark was still in North Little Rock, though his wife Betty was from Memphis area. Manny is probably back in New York. Ron, maybe in Mass. Danny Stephens in Texas, and Jack Stephens in Illinois, I think. Mary may be back in San Antonio.
I guess I have rambled on for long enough. Let me leave you with something Jack Stephens used to say, "Can't ya see, can't ya tell, don't ya know?" Man that guy could sing I've Been Everywhere better than anyone I know.
Good friends, good memories.
Thanks for listening.

Unity - Impediments to the Colors Coming Together - Change Things?

If you light a lamp for for somebody, it will brighten your path. - Buddhist saying

Whenever we refer to things that are not good, we say they are dark things. Are they truly dark? Or is it that they just don't have enough light shining on them. Over the past few writings, I have sought to bring a light on those things that I perceive are keeping us from finding that world of light, harmony, peace, and abundance for all. Even if it was just a spark of light, it was at least something. As the saying states above, I also took the time as I was writing to look at how I related to others and the world around me. In attempting to shine a light for others to see some of the things I see as things that separate us, I also could look at things in a new light. The question that plays in my mind is have I shown even a spark?

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into a flame by another human being. Each of us owes our deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. - Albert Schweitzer

Given the counts or comments that i have seen, so very few people have gone to, let alone read, what I have written. I have truly believed that I was guided to write what I did. If so, to who was it intended? Yet, as I have come to learn, sometimes it is just that one little spark that gets passed on and soon the spark draws into a flame that grows into a fire. The question is, how can I fan those flames? We have grown so disconnected not only from the world around us, but from each other. In our striving to succeed, be noticed, get ahead, we have put more and more barriers between us. So what can we do? After all, what good is pointing the things that separate us without also offering possible paths of reconnection.

Well for one, start honoring each others paths. Stop being the one running round and round the mountain telling everyone else they are on the wrong path. Take the time to learn and understand others paths. In removing ignorance, we can keep ourselves from being drawn into the hate and prejudice that separate us. We can start by not getting drawn into the hate being put against Muslims around the world. The whole religion is being condemned because of terrorists who happen to be Muslim. If we were to do that, Christians would have a lot to answer to, ask any former prisoner of the Indian Schools. We need to stop treating whole religions, countries or races for the acts of people who are a subset of those groups. Maybe if we all got a copy of Idiot's Guide to Islam, or Hinduism, or any of the other faiths that we interact, don't understand, and need to understand in order to accept and relate.

Another thing we can do is to start looking at how we relate to each other. Whenever we have a negative feeling towards another, take a moment to ask ourselves why? What is it about this other person that makes us feel off? In’ lakesh, I am another you. Think of this when relating to another. Think of them as another copy of you on a different path, with different clothes, maybe a different skin color, hair, eyes. If it really was another you, what would you say to them? What would you ask them? What could you learn from them?

Rather than accepting what our leaders tell us about another country, go to the library, buy a book, learn for yourself. Buddha Gautama Siddhartha said, "“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.” Why then do we simply accept what is spoon fed us by the media and our own government. Who knows, maybe you might just find some interesting things about these other countries that you never knew.

Get out to the woods! I can not stress this enough. I do not get out to the woods enough and I practically lived there as a boy. The only way we are going to learn to respect nature is to get out in it. If we become familiar with that tree or stream or stone, would we so readily plow it over? Wonder out in the woods and find a stump or rock to sit on for a bit and just sit out in the quiet of the woods and take it all in. Soon, you will find that it isn't so quiet. The woods are alive with sound. Whether it is the jay screaming "tief, tief", or the woodpecker rat-a-tat-tatting on the tree above you, or the squirrel scampering on the branches, the rabbit hopping along, or the croaking of the frog, the chirp of the cricket, the wind whispering in the pine, the woods are a cacophony of sound. Sit there for a bit and look around at all the trees and wildlife. Okay, now picture it as a parking lot and shopping center, or a new housing development where the trees have all been leveled and houses that no one can afford have been erected. Can you let these new relations be wiped out for another Walmart?

I wish I knew what to suggest on the job front. Too many companies are laying off more and more people to balance their books and keep the money going to shareholders, but then sit scratching their heads because sales are down. Um, duh, you aren't the only company laying off and with everyone worrying about surviving, there is no discretionary cash to spend on a new TV or Blue Ray player. Got to love Hyundai's new commercials saying that if you lose your job, they will buy your car back. Okay, but a car basically drops $1,000 in value going out of the lot, are they going to pay you what you owe? Or are they going to give you blue book? I understand the mentality. It is all about trying to sell cars when no one is buying because of the economy. But I digress as I usually do. The other problem with trying to change the mindset of corporations is that upper management is not going to listen. Worse, I have even heard it said before the last time we were in a down economy, you don't like it, go get another job. They know you are stuck and take advantage of it. The Big Three automakers didn't get it when they were pointing their finger at labor costs as the major problem as they arrived in their private jets. Hey, I am open to any suggestions from people that might help others to change the mindset of corporate America.

When it comes down to it, we are the spark. If we don't start fanning the flames of change, nothing will ever change. As Desmond Tutu said, "Do your little bit of good where you are; its those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." I think the first step in doing this is to look at our own hearts. Take a few minutes each day and remind yourself as you start the day that we are truly all related. Say to yourself that each and every person you meet during the day is another aspect of yourself. If you encounter someone that you find offense with, instead of focusing out towards them, ask yourself, am I seeing within them something that I don't like about myself? have I ever acted like this person to another? Am I judging this person on preconceived notions, learned prejudices, or even media influences? Now look at that person again. Is there something in that person that you see as good? Are we so locked on the negative that we cannot see past it to find that good?

For the past two years I have been writing on Unity and Reconnecting. I have felt that I was led to write the things I have. That it was now time for the people to come together. One heart, one spirit. I have been disillusioned over the two years, feeling that though I was guided to write what I have, no one was reading. Well, some of you were. I have had some tell me that my writings are too long and take too long to read. I am only being the "hollow bone" as Grandfather Fools Crow says. I just start and let it flow. I have been told that a white person doesn't belong walking the red path. They told me to go be a Buddhist. All I can respond to that is thanks, as I took the time to read some Buddhist writings and found more great wisdom there, including the quote from the Buddha that I included above. My path has led me on many winding roads that has exposed me to many traditions, wisdoms, situations, and especially the people who have helped me to learn and grow. So yes, while I was trying to light the path, that light shown for me to see new things and look at life and my own connections in a new way.

I think I am going to take some time to address my own path. I truly want to get back to the woods. I also have another three sand paintings that I was supposed to have made last year, but kept putting off. I have to finish the pipe bag that I have to bead the turtle on. I have to basically get back to my own training so that I can better serve the people. To think that much of this all started with the vision of the turtle that is in the picture here. The shell is divided into thirteen segments. Three of each of the four colors and the center of the shell a combination of all the colors representing the coming together. This is the turtle that I painted with colored sands on the desert floor during a ceremony in New Mexico. I painted the same turtle of colored sand on a granite ledge back here in Massachusetts. I truly believed that the ceremony that I performed was to set the spirit of that turtle free to travel across all of turtle island to unite the people. It is said that at Black Elk's passing, he wept because he did not see his vision come to fruition. I pray that I will have a different fate. I pray that the spirit of unity that the turtle represents will cross all of turtle island and that somehow, someway, the people will reconnect with each other. Instead of fighting over scarcer and scarcer resources we will come together to find solution that will help all people. It all starts with ourselves. We have to start relating to each other from the heart. We have to treat each other and all of creation as if each person that we encounter, whether human, tree person, rock person, four legged, winged, or others, as if they were another of ourselves. We especially need to stop looking at nature as a thing to be plundered.
I am another you.
My heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.

Unity - Impediments to the Colors Coming Together - Sex, Gender, Orientation

We seem to be constantly looking for way to differentiate ourselves, to separate ourselves from others. Is it ego that drives this need to be different, better, special? Over the past few writings I have talked about the many ways that we have come to push ourselves apart from each other, to disconnect from each other, and from all of life. Whether we use imaginary boundaries and call them countries, differences in the way we perceive our spiritual beliefs and call it religion, or differences in the shades of our skin and call it race, we try to find the smallest difference and blow it up and point to it to say, "See, I am better than you!" As if this weren't bad enough, we also use sex, gender, and sexual orientation as one more weapon in our arsenal of separation.
Before I get too deep into this, let me first differentiate between these three. While many applications may read sex or gender when referring to the request for information as to whether you are a man or a woman, the truth is, that should say sex. Sex is the physiological differentiation between men and women. Of course, we are so into our black and white world, that we see this as an either/or proposition. Yet, in truth, all three are linear and we fall some place on the line. There are some who are born with both male and female genitalia. Decisions are made either by the doctor or the parents and the sex is decided by others. In one such case, the person grew up with a condition known in the DSM-IV as Gender Dysphoria. This is where they grow up feeling that they are in conflict with their bodies. They perceive themselves to be a gender opposite than what their physical attributes would say. In other words, they may feel they are a woman in a man's body. Or they may feel they are a man in a woman's body. In the aforementioned case, the person grew up with gender dysphoria and then found out later that they had been born with both genitalia and the doctor made a choice. They sought out the doctor to kill them. In this case, the doctor guessed wrong. This isn't always the case though. Please do not confuse transgendered people with transexuals. There is a distinct difference between the two.
Gender is the way we perceive ourselves regardless of our genitalia. This is also linear and not quite black and white. We sometimes see this as masculine and feminine traits. We don't fall either distinctly as one or the other but rather fall somewhere along the line. For the most part our minds are in alignment with our bodies, but if people understood what people who suffer gender dysphoria had to go through, they wouldn't be giving the sneers and jeers behind their backs.
The same can be said for sexual preference. Of course California's passing of Proposition 8 shows how we use sexual preference to separate us. Why is it so important for people to push their own idea of right and wrong on others? Science has shown us that even in the animal kingdom there are gay animals. There is some evidence that it may be genetically passed down. I have one question for those who are so against gays have equal rights as everyone else, and use God as their justification, what if he intentionally created gays in order to control population? Why, if God is so against it, there is evidence of gay animals? I think it was in Legally Blond 2 that the Senator admits his dog is gay. Yet, if you mention science, then those against claim that it is Gay agenda and not real science. The thing is what if all those who claim that it is against God are wrong. What if it is God's intention? Are you willing to continue to say that gays are lesser than you and an abomination? Of course, there are those that will say that maybe those who speak loudest against and are most fearful of the "gay agenda" really are afraid of their own desires. After all, just as sex and gender aren't exactly black and white, neither is sexual orientation. We actually fall somewhere along a line. Sometimes having feelings for both sexes, or bisexual. The "B" in LGBT. (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered).
Of course, there is still issues between men and woman and the "gender barrier" known as the glass ceiling. This spawned the feminist movement that sought to bring equality. It took many years, but a woman can be a CEO of a company now. Back in the 60's, the Civil Rights movement sought to level the playing field with regards to race. Today we have a black man on the verge of being President. Why can't we skip the whole movement and just shoot straight for equality and just accept everyone as an equal?
Maybe if we focused more on our own paths and not spending so much time telling everyone else they are on the wrong path, we all can get up the mountain without stepping on everyone else to get there.
My heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.