Year of Balance - Circles

And I say the sacred hoop of my people was one of the many hoops that made one circle, wide as daylight and as starlight, and in the center grew one mighty flowering tree to shelter all the children of one mother and one father.
Black Elk


All life is a circle. The moon is round and circles the earth, which is round and circles the sun. A birds builds its nest in a circle. Water going down the drain goes in a circle, not a square, or a triangle, though that would be interesting to see. When you throw a pebble in a placid pond, (got to love alliteration), it causes ripples that go outward.

We are the pebbles in the pond. The things we say and do can have a ripple affect touching and affecting others. If we are not in balance, we can take on the negative ripples from others and have them affect us as well. Case in point. My daughter was all excited when she was with me last week. That Friday night felt an air of excitement and expectation, not only because of the holiday, but because my daughter was heading up to New Hampshire to stay with her boyfriend and his family for a few days. However, the very next morning found her fit to be tied. She stomped around the house slamming things. That air of excitement was gone and a dark pall was over the house. As it turned out, her mother had called her and told her that she was calling the boyfriends mother and setting ground rules for her visit. They were not to be left alone. They couldn't go snowmobiling and various other rules. My daughter was fit to be tied. I tried to find out what was going on and got a curt answer. So, I got caught up in it and responded in kind.
"Well, I guess we are going to have to put up with a pissy attitude all day!". Fortunately, age and wisdom intervened and I realized that I was getting caught up in it. I told her that we would talk about this when I took her to work. It was good for her to get it out. I asked her why she was wasting all of this energy for something that has not happened yet. I explained to her how I used to do the same thing. I would leave work for the three hour ride to pick them up expecting a confrontation with their mother over some silly thing and would be ranting and raving in the car all the way down. Ninety percent of the time, I never saw their mother and their was no conflict, but I had gotten all worked up and it affected my mood with them for the night. I told her to just get back thinking about being with him. Forget what her mother said and just deal with whatever comes, that the most important thing was that she was going to be with him. Her mood changed, my mood changed, and we were both the better for it.
Now, the effects we have on others isn't always negative. Sometimes those ripples can be very amazing. Just this past Christmas, I believe in was in Pennsylvania, there was a diner that experienced the ripples of goodness. As a man went up to the counter to pay his tab, he looked back over the people eating and told the waitress to give him another tables bill also. He paid both and went out. The waitress thought, what a wonderful thing to do for someone you don't even know. Well, the person whose tab he paid came up to pay their bill and was told that it was paid for by the man who just left. Instead of just saying, gee great, and walking out, that person then turned and said, I will pay theirs, and paid it and walked out. This went on for most of the day. The waitress was almost in tears seeing the generosity of this one person spreading through all of these others. When she was interviewed, she told the reporter that never, in all her years of waitressing, had she ever experienced such a thing.
The Lakota have a saying, Mitakuye Oyasin, "We are all related" or "All My Relations". Quantum Physics tells us that we are all connected. Our mood, our actions, can have a ripple affect that touches many people. Those people can touch others, and they in turn others. We can have a positive or negative affect on many people in this way. So it is very important that we find balance for ourselves so that we can absorb some of the negative without passing that on, and put forth positive influences. In most cases, all it takes is for us to take note of how we are acting and learn to live in the moment.
How many moments do we miss because we got caught up in someone else's drama, or worrying about something that has not happened yet. The latter being my major weakness. Try something with me. Take a dime and trace around it. Now take your pen or pencil and think back through your life at all the positive moments. Keep going until you can't think of anymore. If you run out of space inside your dime, pull out a quarter and trace a larger circle around the dime. Continue on until you just can't think of anymore. Now, look at all those dots. Think hard about how many of those moments there are and how many you missed because you were upset, angry, or worrying about something else. How many of them did you miss when you didn't have to? Maybe if we become more aware that we are in a moment, we can purposefully put aside the worry, anger, or other negative feeling and take advantage of the moment. Be "in the moment" and enjoy it for what it is. Maybe if we can break the paradigm of worry and anger and start taking up more and more of these moments, or even starting to make them, we can increase the positive energy that we put out. In this way, the ripples that emanate from our pebbles have a positive affect on people. I will try over the coming year to be positive and upbeat in my writings. Sorry, as Yoda said, "There is no try, there is only do and not do". I will over the coming year, work to be more positive and upbeat. I will put forth a more positive attitude and break the paradigm of worry and anger that has plagued me. So I guess I will just have to laugh and sing more.
My heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.

Year of Balance - Regaining Balance in Troubled Times

Every year I write at the end of the year to introduce a theme for the new year. In the past, there was the Year of Unity and the Year of Hope. These served as an anchor to my writings for a continued theme through the year. These were accompanied by the occasional Wisdom From a Fortune Cookie. I had enjoyed writing these as besides hopefully inspiring others, they helped me to reflect on my own journey and things I might do to reconnect with others and try to bring unity in this world. This past year, though, was spent mostly working. A major project occupied most of my time throughout the year leaving me little time for my own spiritual journey or writing. Most of the time, I was just plain exhausted and couldn't even think let alone write. This preoccupation with work left me spiritually devoid and sometimes even depressed. My life was mostly my work, which left me unbalanced.
What is balance? Balance is finding that equilibrium between physical, spiritual, emotional, and learning. Some use a medicine wheel symbol to remind themselves to keep this balance. Each direction, East, South, West and North, represent a different facet. When we put too much emphasis in any of these "directions", we become imbalanced. This manifests itself in many forms from simple uneasiness to deep depression. Outwardly, the frustrations felt can manifest themselves as anger, withdrawal and even mental illness.
I watched myself as I slowly withdrew, fighting to maintain a sense of spirituality. I saw myself getting increasingly angry and snapping at times. The added stress of trying to find a new home, trying to sell ours, and then when finally sold, moving. We have a great house now with a large yard that we fenced in so that the dogs can run free in the back yard. Yeah, dogs, we added a brother for Brandy so that she would have a playmate. So we have a beautiful yard, great dogs, and nice neighbors. We are in the country and I have a little pine grove I can retreat to and space for a couple of gardens for herbs and veggies. Yet, I was so caught up in work, I have had little time to enjoy it all.
How many of us go through things like this. How many of us find ourselves more heavily involved in one of the directions forsaking the others? Do we spend so much time in spiritual pursuits that we fail ourselves physically? Do we spend so much of our time trying to accumulate all the knowledge and wisdom of the world, that we forget to live in it? Do we get so wrapped up in the drama of our life that we miss the simplest of wisdoms that may help us get through?
So what can we do to find that balance. First, we must remind ourselves that we must live in balance. Create a symbol to reflect that, which we may put up to remind ourselves each day. When you look at this symbol, be sure to speak each "direction". For example, east is spiritual. Remind yourself to take time during the day to be in touch with your spiritual self whatever path your follow. Look towards the next, say south and emotional. Emotion is not just anger, but also joy, happiness, and love. Looking towards the west and physical, we have to remind ourselves to make sure we eat right, get exercise, and take care of our physical self. Finally moving to the north and intellectual pursuits, knowledge and wisdom. We must always nurture our minds by always seeking knowledge. In acquiring knowledge and combining that with our life experiences we gain wisdom. Over time that collection of knowledge and wisdom is what we will use as elders to help those who follow on their journeys.
So, where do I go from here? Well, for one, I need to stop playing games online. Caught up in the games on Facebook and Tagged, I have used it to escape for the past year. I have managed to write a few times, but very infrequent. So with the demands of the job easing just a bit, and the new year on the horizon, I am going to play for one more week and use the new year as a jumping point forward. Come the new year, I will start reading more. I have a whole stack of books to go through. I had been devouring two books at a time, but this year, I think if I read four books I was lucky. I plan on getting out and hiking a bit more to take care of my physical self. I also plan on eating better if I can. Which means, no more working through lunch. I will be trying to have a piece of fruit or two a day. Probably the most important is to take more time with my family. I have been so disconnected from them while my mind was engrossed in work, that I had put them second. So I will be trying to spend more quality time with them.
If I find that work's demands just won't allow any of this, then maybe it is time to move on. As I learned after putting work ahead of all else only to find they were considering outsourcing it all, they do not have my best interests at heart. I will give it a few months and see how things go. If things don't change, then it is time.
So here's to 2010. I pray for all of us that it is a year that turns things around to a brighter future. Remember, we have the ability to change our perspective. We can see the negative in everything or we can see the positive. There is always something positive even if just a lesson to be learned. The past year or so has been a great struggle. However, I am going to work to change my perspective and regain that balance in my life. "Leaders don't force people to follow - they invite them on a journey" (Charles S. Lauer) I invite you to join me on my journey. Seek each day to find balance and harmony. Then go a step further and extend that out into the world around you. Maybe when we relearn to bring balance and harmony into our own lives, we will echo that into our external world and all we come in contact with.
My heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.

I wish to also share with you a prayer that I used to say every day. It helped me to keep in balance and I hope to return to it. You may use it if you like to fashion your own daily spiritual routines and prayers if you like.

White Wolf's Prayer

Creator, I thank you for my life and journey. I pray my heart will be open for your teachings and guidance. I pray that I will be open to do your will and be of service to the people with an open heart. I pray my heart open for your guidance and wisdom, my heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.
Sky Father, I give thanks to you. I thank you for the air I breathe. I thank you for the healing waters of rain and snow. I thank you for Grandfather Sun and Grandmother Moon and the Star people. I pray we will realize what we are doing to the skies and will work to bring healing to you and in turn ourselves. I pray my heart open for your guidance and wisdom, my heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.
Earth Mother, I give thanks to you. I thank you for the healing herbs and the herbs to flavor the bounty which you provide. I give thanks for the trees that filter our air. The grasses, the flowers, the fruit, the vegatables and all that grows. I give thanks for all the beings that give of their life so that we may live. I pray that we will come to realize the damage that we are doing to you and work to bring healing to your and ourselves. I pray my heart open for your guidance and wisdom, my heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.
Spirit of the East, I give thanks to you. I thank you for your spiritual guidance. Help me to walk in beauty, to be a spiritual person, and to help others along their path. I open my heart to you and to the other spirits. Let my heart be open so as to hear the spirits and heed their guidance. Help me to be in strong in spirit to help others. I pray my heart open for your guidance and wisdom, my heart, to your heart, one heart, one spirit.
Spirit of the South, I give thanks to you. I thank you for the emotions that help me to live life. Help me to temper my anger with wisdom. Help me to find joy in the simplest of things. Help me to open my heart to others and to share the joy and love of life with all who come near. I pray my heart open for your guidance and wisdom, my heart, to your heart, one heart, one spirit.
Spirit of the West, I give thanks to you. I thank you for the strength you give me. Help me to be strong for the people. Help me to be strong in all I do. Help me to be strong of spirit, of wisdom, of body, of soul. Help me have the strength of the thunder beings and the mighty buffalo so that I may be strong for the people. I pray my heart open for your guidance and wisdom, my heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.
Spirit of the North, I give thanks to you. I thank you for the wisdom you bring. Help me to be wise for the people so that I may help others along their path. Guide me in all I do so that I may do things in a good way with wisdom and knowledge. Help me to be the teacher and to return the gifts of knowledge and wisdom shared with me. I pray my heart open for your guidance and your wisdom, my heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.
And so we return to the east and the circle is complete. I will remember always that life is a circle and will honor this.
To all the spirits who have come before, I give thanks. I thank you for the times you have carried me, for the times you have held me up, for the times you have showed the way. I give thanks for the wisdom that you have shared with me. I give thanks when you have only pointed the way. I pray my heart will always be open to hear your words, to feel your spirit. I pray my heart open for your guidance and wisdom, my heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.
To all the spirits who have yet to come. Who may come into my life for a moment, a minute, a day, a month, a year, or a lifetime, I give thanks to you. I thank you for helping me on my path, for teaching me, for helping me to grow so that I may serve the people well. I pray that my heart will always be open to your guidance and wisdom. I pray my heart open for your guidance and wisdom, my heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.
To the Sacred White Buffalo Calf, I give thanks. I pray you strength and safety on your journey. I pray as a symbol of peace and harmony that you will touch many hearts. I pray that those hearts will bloom and spread love to other hearts until we have created a new world, the fifth world of peace and harmony. I pray my heart open to you, my heart, to your heart, one heart, one spirit.
Sacred Turtle, you whose spirit called me to the desert. I give thanks. I thank you for the honor to have gone to the desert to perform ceremony. I am humbled for I am not worthy of this honor. I give thanks for your welcoming me into your heart. I pray you safety and strength on your journey. I pray that you will touch many hearts and those hearts will open and blossom and spread love across the land. You are the symbol of unity. You are the symbol of peace. Let your spirit touch many hearts. I pray my heart open for your guidance and wisdom, my heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit. Aho.
Mitakuye Oyasin Pilamaya, Wado, Thank You We Are All Related

Wisdom From a Fortune Cookie - Aim High!

Been going to Oriental Pearl lately, but they don't give out fortune cookies for some reason. So tonight, we went back to Orchid of Hawaii and actually had some pretty good Szechuan Shrimp. Best of all, fortune cookies. So I have a new stash to tap for inspiration. So what was today's fortune? it was interesting as I had spent four years in the Air Force.

"Aim High, Time Flies"

Sound familiar Lindsey? Kind of timely on this. I had just been talking to my daughter about school, college, and life in general. i told her, Aim High. That was the Air Force motto for a number of years. The point i was trying to make is that she needed to push herself just beyond where she believed her limits were. if she was going to get the good jobs, get the good colleges, she needed to excel in school now. Otherwise, she may end up having to struggle through life as I have.

We all can take a lesson in this. We can spend our lives just getting by, or we can challenge ourselves to move beyond the limitations. We can do this just an inch at a time. One of the things that has kept me in my job all these years is that I try to keep learning. In computers, you have to. Technology changes about every six months or so. So you are always having to move beyond your comfort zone and learn new things.

While my daughter may think it is a drag to have to study and press herself to do well in school, the second part of the cookie reminds us that time does fly and before she knows it, she will be off and on her own. The lessons she is learning now, both in school and from what we tell her we hope will help her have an easier life than I did. So she has to remind herself that time does fly and soon she will be out of high school and hopefully on to college.

As for myself, well, I do try to Aim High. I keep trying to learn. I keep trying to excel in all aspects of my life. I may stumble, fall down, and even fail at times. What makes me successful is that I keep getting up and moving on. During the struggling time, I remind myself that time does fly. I look back at all I have faced and overcome and know that the things that I face at this time in my life will just be a memory a few years from now. All a matter of perspective when you think about it. I keep inching towards that retirement age and hoping that I can make it. Time flies. Soon, I will be sitting by the fire in my backyard telling stories about my life. Grandchildren at my feet. Really, Grampa, you saved the President? Oh, um, of course, I was great hero. Oh well, maybe not stories like that.

Aim High. Yes, to be able to get through the next ten years or so and keep my integrity intact. I just need to keep true to myself, keep balance in my life, and keep dreaming of a time when i don't have to get up at 5am and fight traffic for an hour or more to get to work. Of course, if they keep moving the bloody retirement age out, I'll be 90 before I can retire.

And to my old Air Force buddies, Aim High! Or as my squadron motto in basic said, "Lead, Follow, or get out of the way!"

Okay, this really fries me. Now, I am not a big baseball fan, so whether Jason Bay stays or goes is of no matter. What bothers me most is the importance we place on guys like this. America's pasttime? Not hardly. How many American families can afford to go see these whiny spoiled brats play a game? I know I can't. The last time I was at Fenway, Wayde Boggs was playing third. I had seats right there, but he wasn't playing, nor were any of the other "stars" because they made it into the playoffs so they were off resting. Instead we got Pawtucket level players. i am just glad that I didn't spend money for the tickets, they were given to me, for just this reason. The person who bought them was upset because he paid so much and was going to only get to see the second string.

So what has me speaking up? Well, it was announced that Jason Bay rejected a four year, sixty million dollar offer. Okay, now how many of you will see one million in four years? Yeah, I didn't think so. These guys play a game. A game that many of us played in school yards across America. The insanity of it is that they get paid millions and that is before endorsements, to play a game. Bottom line, that is it, they are doing the same bloody thing we did as kids in the school yard. Granted they are better at it, well marginally at times. Yet, we are all struggling. We are worried about our jobs, if we haven't all ready been outsourced and put out of our homes. Yet, these guys think that they deserve tens of millions of dollars to play a game! It is a game! These whiny, spoiled brat, egotistical bums, believe that they are so great. For sixty million, I expect Jason Bay to bat a thousand. I expect no balls to make it over the fence because for sixty million he should be able to snag them out of the air like the six million dollar man. Heck, he was ten times less money and could run faster than Bay, jump higher than Bay, and probably when it comes to hitting it out of the park, well, I think he could hit Cleveland from Fenway. So what makes Jason Bay think he is worth more than the cop on the street or the firefighter, or even that serviceman who is facing bullets and mines every day?

That is the crux of it isn't it? We have put so much emphasis on these spoiled brats while we fail to pay people who are putting their lives on the line. Many of our service people live near the poverty line. They are just getting by, yet they are out there on the front line watching their brothers and sisters drop by enemy bullets and land mines. They watch in horror as the man next to them gets blown apart, arm there, leg over there. The horrors they have to endure for a meager salary. What of that fireman who goes into the burning building to rescue the family pet because all life is precious. What of that cop who takes a bullet while trying to stop a drug dealer from selling dope to your kids?

In our town, they had a special election to vote on a Prop 2 1/2 override. There is a cap on raising taxes in the state unless the voters vote an override. Because the state was in a crunch, they cut the amount they sent back to cities and towns, so towns everywhere were facing shortfalls. Well, many people have been laid off during this economic downturn. A company that had taken tax payer money to come to MA and start up a solar panel manufacturing facility with the promises of jobs for MA residents, just announced recently they were cutting those jobs and moving manufacturing to China. More jobs gone, more on the bread line. So the people said enough, we have to struggle, we can't continue to pay when we aren't getting anything. So the town had to lay off fireman, police, minimize town hall hours, and other cuts including schools. So for sixty million, maybe Jason can come here and fill in for some of those policemen lost because we can't afford to pay them.

We need to start reviewing our priorities in life. Is a man who plays a bloody game worth more than that cop, the fireman, the serviceman, the teacher? What I don't get is when our paychecks have been frozen, when our jobs have been shifted overseas, when many are struggling to put food on the table or pay the healthcare mafia, why, why, why, do we continue to support these spoiled brats!

If you like baseball and live in New England, stop supporting the spoiled brats up in Fenway. Go to family friendly venues like Pawtucket. Go see the Portland Sea Dogs, the Lowell Spinners, or some other A,AA,AAA league where the ticket prices are still reasonable and snacks can be had at a decent price. Stop paying these spoiled brats!

Oh, and Jason, go play for the Yankees, you fit in with all of those Prima Donas.

2012 - End of Time or a New Beginning?

There is a lot of hoopla over this new film, 2012. Once again, Hollywood has latched on to an idea and twisted it so they can try to capitalize on it. i have not seen the film and can only base my feelings about it from the commercials. I don't plan on seeing it. I don't have a lot of disposable cash at the moment. From what I have seen of it, we are all doomed.
Many people are unaware of the significance of 2012. So let me back track just a moment. The date December 21st, 2012, is supposed to be a significant date based on the Mayan calendar. Now this date is suspect because it changes depending on what scholar you talk to. The basic principal is this. The Mayans, who were renowned astronomers created a very precise calendar that spans a time period of about 5200 years. The current 5200 year cycle is slowly coming to a close. Now I won't get into an interpretive lesson on tuns, baktuns, nights, days, etc, that make up this calendar. I will leave that to you to investigate for yourself should you find yourself interested.
Now there are two distinct camps, or more depending on how you want to look at it. The first camp is the ones that probably inspired the movie, the doomsday squad. They have bought into this idea that the end of the Mayan calendar signifies the end of the world. Makes for great movies but is far from the truth. The second camp are the ones who see it as a time of renewal and new beginnings. i suppose a smaller third camp would be those who say it is simply the end of their calendar much as December 31st is the end of the Gregorian Calendar. December 31st has never meant that the world was going to end, why should December 21st, 2012? Of course it is a significant date in that it is the end of the Mayan Calendar of 5200 years, but think back to December 31st, 1999. How may doomsayers came out saying THAT would be the end of the world? All I remember was how much a PIA it was from a computer programming point of view as many programs were written with just a two digit date and 00 would suddenly be before 99, so that would mess up a bunch of calculations. (I had all ready built calculations into my programs to account for that and added fifty more years life to my programs. lol)
So in the end, is 2012 going to be a big bust as 2000? Well, let me throw some things out there. First, the calendar that many of us know, based on the supposed year that Jesus was born. (Some theological scholars believe that the date was actually four years earlier which would make it 2013 now. See, we made it through it. ) Well we survived that supposed Apocalypse fairly well though some would argue the point. The calendar though has gone through a number of shifts and transitions until it arrived at the current form. So our dates may not be as accurate as we believe. However, the Mayan Calendar is set in stone, literally, it was carved in stone. Our place on that calendar is mostly educated guesses, though I think there are still 'time keepers' in the jungles of South America. I read from one scholar who believes that our perception of where we are in the calendar is off and whatever changes predicted will actually happen in 2011. So there is a lot up for speculation.
Okay, back to the calendar. You remember that I mentioned that it is broken up into days, nights, tuns, baktuns, etc. Well, just as the Mayans built their temples in a pyramidal shape, so is the time of the calendar. While the calendar is a stone wheel, the time can be seen as a pyramid. Each level, time is more compressed. When we get to that final level, time is really accelerated and compressed. Do you feel like time is just flying by and you never have enough time to do the things you need to do? Yet, if you look at the base of this pyramid, time seems so expanded.
Let's leave the Maya for a moment and look at another view of time. It has been a while since I read of this so forgive me if I am not spot on with the terms or time periods. I offer it here only for comparison as it bears a striking similarity to the Mayan calendars perspective of time. There is another view which I believe is called the Golden Age. If I remember correctly, it also spoke of 5200 year cycles. Now here is the interesting part. To envision this, think of a globe. Most of us have seen a tornado, so we will use that image to describe the vortex coming from the top to the center of the globe. Going from the center to the bottom is an upside down tornado. Where the two tips meet is the end time, beginning time, the time of 2012 if you will. Now time starts from the point and swirling out to the bottom and half way up the outer side. This is the Golden Age. It is said to be a time of great enlightenment. A time of peace and harmony for all beings. As you progress up the side, you go into the silver age. It's duration is half that of the golden age. So in other words, time compresses. As you get to the top of the globe, you are in the bronze age. Time is getting very compressed now and beginning to accelerate as you head in to the vortex at the top. As you go through the vortex, you enter into the iron age where time is extremely compressed and things just seem to be spinning out of control. It is said, that is where we are now. We are heading to that point of time where we will hit the junction where the two points meet and then spurt through to the other side, like new born beginning a new life. From what I have heard and read from Mayan elders in South America, that is what will happen at the end of the Mayan calendar. We will be reborn into a new age, a new beginning.
Now there are many indigenous cultures that speak of these "rebirths". Some call them worlds. Depending on the culture we may be entering the fourth world, or the fifth world. If their stories have truth in them, then we are going to go through a rough time for a while and then be reborn into this new world. This new world will be one of peace, harmony, and balance for all of creation. Some stories have said that the past worlds have met their end by one of the elements. Fire, earth, water, or air. There are many flood stories, including that of Noah and the ark. What if the last world ended in a flood? Maybe the one before was fire, which wiped out the dinosaurs. We can only speculate until someone can create a time machine and we can go back and get the real truths.
Now every good legend or story has just enough truth in it to make it believable. I have read many prophesies about the coming times in my studies. One thing that most of the same is that we are coming to a choice point. We as individuals will have to make a choice. We can continue on the path we are currently on and destroy everything in our wake in order to garner material goods. Or, we can choose the way of right relations and learn to walk in harmony and balance. If what I read of the Hopi Bear Clan prophesy is true, though there is a lot of misinformation on the Internet, then we are coming to that juncture. Those who choose the path of right relations and return to a spiritual path, a path of harmony, balance, and respect for all life, including the earth itself, will be spared. Those who continue on the path of destruction that we are currently on, will be destroyed. Hmmm, maybe there is an Apocalypse coming after all.
There is an saying attributed as a Chinese curse, "May you live in interesting times". Well, I think they have been very interesting and soon to get more interesting yet. I pray for all that we do make it through 2012. I pray that the doomsayers are wrong and those with visions of a new world of peace, balance and harmony for all of creation are spot on. That is a world I could enjoy living in.
Watching the calendar
your brother in spirit
My heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit
White Wolf

The Greatest Nation???

[Originally posted in April of 2006, I find that it is just as fitting today especially in light of Congresses recent apology for slavery. I have many Native American friends and this was written originally because of a posting in one of our groups. The posting spoke of how difficult it is to move forward when the sins of the past have never been addressed. Of course, for many Native Americans those sins continue today. That is why I had worked over the past few years to bring awareness. I felt it was in some small way, and I mean very small considering what has been, done to try to help. I give many thanks to my Tsalagi brother and sister, Bear Warrior and Little Wren, who "adopted" me and taught me much. So many others have opened their hearts to me and helped me to understand so that I could help others to understand. Many thanks to Richard Runs Amongst Buffalo, Hillaire, Nancy Little Shield, and so many, many others. I also thank those teaches who brought me to a shamans path to learn and grow. I may never become a true shaman and bring healing to others, but it has helped me to reconnect to the earth and to all beings. Many thanks to Sandra Ingerman for taking the time to have coffee with me and share with me some insights.
My heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit
Unega Waya (White Wolf) - June 2009]

The more I read lately, the more I question that Epitaph that the US has placed on itself. The earliest I started to question that was when I became aware of the civil rights movement. Of course, because I was young, sheltered, and white, I was unaware until there was a walkout by Black students at my high school. I had no idea what it was about. I was under the impression we were all equal in this country. That we all were treated the same. How wrong I was. It was further brought home while I was in the service and actually accused of being a racist, though I was giving equal treatment to all. I was slammed with the accusation that I owed this person because of what “my people” did to his. Um, last I checked, a lot of Irish immigrants came over as indentured servants, which while not the same as slavery, was darn close. Fortunately, I had some friends who were Black that stood up for me. With that, and being stationed in the South, I learned that we hadn't gone far from those days in the 60's. I became a little more sensitive to what Blacks had to endure and came to understand the distrust and hatred because of the color of my skin. And let me tell you, this Irish white skin really stands out. Now I won't claim to understand the Black experience in America, but I acknowledge what has transpired in this country and in some areas still is. Our sister, Way of the Spirit, posted a blog where she said that we cannot just move on as some whould have us do, but that we need to acknowledge and even apologize for any part our ancestors may have had a role in. So with that wisdom in mind, I offer my apologies to the Black community for any role my ancestors may have had, or any disrespect I may have shown due to my own ignorance.

Now, I might have stopped here just five years ago, but my eyes have been opened with still more. I have read of the things done to the the Native Americans in this country. My heart cries for those lost on the Trail of Tears, Wounded Knee, both past and modern times, and the many other attrocities put upon the indiginous peoples of Turtle Island. I have seen the original Laramie Treaty reservation set aside for the Lakota compared with what they have left today as more and more was whittled away. I have read about the sacred sites that were being desecrated either through development or recreational use. I have seen how every power of this country was brought to bear to break the will of the Native peoples. How deceit and treachery were used to take more and more land. I have read of the forced assimilation through religion, Indian schools where the children could be whipped for speaking their native tongues. Yes, I was called by the Creator to the Red Road. I was asked to walk this walk which puts me alone and in between two worlds. I understand my Native American brothers not trusting me and unwilling to welcome me to their fire. I understand the distrust and hatred for my white skin. It sickens me to read some of the stories and accounts of events happening even to this day. The government selling out to the concerns of the Peabody Energy Company over Hopi lands. To my Native brothers and sisters, I offer my apologies for any role my ancestors may have had, or any disrespect I may have shown due to my own ignorance.

Recently, I was made aware of Hawaii's move for independence. I found that the native peoples of Hawaii were'nt allowed to vote for statehood. This was forced on them. I learned that like the laws put in place to put a stop to the Ghost Dance, the Hawaains had laws put in place to stop the hula. Hawaii had its own monarchy which was supplanted by the conquerors. And of course, as has happened in the past, those who were in charge, rewrote history to make them look favorable. Hawaii is seeking its independence. It is looking to the world courts to right the wrong done to them. Stay tuned.
To my brothers and sisters of the islands, I offer my apologies for any role my ancestors may have had, or any disrespect I may have shown due to my own ignorance.

I also have come to know about issues surrounding the Marshall Islands and nuclear tests that were done there. It appears that the US is trying to walk away from its responsibilities there also, as they have been doing on Turtle Island to our Native American brothers and sisters. More broken promises. People exposed, dying of cancer, and the US feels that they have done enough. To the people of the Marshall Islands and surrounding areas exposed during the nuclear testing, I offer my apogies for any role my ancestors may have had, or any disrespect I may have shown due to my own ignorance.

I am sure that the more I open Pandora's box, the more I will question those words, The Greatest Nation. To all those peoples who I have not yet uncovered the wrongs done to them, I offer my apologies for any role my ancestors may have had, or any disrespect I may have shown due to my own ignorance.

Lastly to Earth Mother, Sky Father, and all the spirits, I wish to offer my apologies for any role I or my ancestors have had in the fouling of the air, the polluting of the streams, the litter, the hatred between peoples.

Creator, please hear my prayer. I offer my apologies to all whom I or my ancestors have caused offense to. I open my heart to all peoples so that I may walk in beauty and work towards calling your children home to you. May your peace and love glow in my heart to serve as a beacon.

Chicken Eatin' Mo-Fo!

I hope no one is offended by the Mo-Fo, but my old boss in the Air Force, Fred Jenkins used to call me that. Except he didn't use the more polite term. I love my fried chicken. Okay, call me foolish, tell me I am on a suicide mission with my arteries, I don't care. There is nothing like good fried chicken. I worked the night shift, so I would get up so I could hit the dining hall before it closed at one. If Reverend Purdie or Rose Mary had been cooking fried chicken, the scent would be through the dining hall and I would zoom in. Of course, there would be Fred, shaking his head.
Okay, it's always nice to reminisce but I have to tell you, sometimes I think that was the last good fried chicken I had. Oh, there is KFC, but something about their spices gives me a bit of heartburn. I loved Cajun Joe's, but it went out of business. My guess because the owner stopped being there and let kids run the place. The chicken was cold, the fries soggy, and the biscuits stale. Popeye's was good, but the two places I could get that closed. I think there is one off 24 in Brockton, but that is a bit far to go.
So that leaves the local places. Well, the local pizza place used to have some decent chicken, not too flavorful, but it was okay. I tried another place over on Route 1, but it had a burned taste and was dry. So the only thing left is KFC. Now here is my rant about KFC, how hard is it to get an order right? I think it is something like three out of five times I will go in there and when I get home find out that they didn't give me all I ordered. Though, it also appears that they are suffering the same as all the other locals, either the chickens are shrinking or they are serving pigeon. I swear, I got a leg that was the size of most wings! Of course, it is consistent. I just hope it doesn't get consistently small. Then this weekend, I went to Dave's Diner in Middleboro and ordered the dark meat fried chicken dinner, two thighs and a leg. That was the order. What did I get? Well first for supposedly the best fried chicken in the area, it was bland and dry. Second, they must be taking lessons from KFC because I didn't get two thighs and a leg, I got a thigh, a leg, and a breast.
So where oh where does a fried chicken lover go these days? Of course, until we sell my house and move in to our new one, I can't break out my fryer and do it myself. Once we have moved though, that is exactly what I am going to do. Like they say, if you want something done, do it yourself. Now, if I could only track down Reverend Purdy and Rose Mary.

Why Couldn't Our Great Economists Have Foreseen This?

Okay, so I read today that IBM is laying off 4,000 people and off-shoring the jobs to India. This is nothing new and has been going on for quite a while now. Companies under pressure from stockholders to turn a profit and a big return on investments, have been moving jobs out of the country for years. I ask anyone to go to a store today and try to find an article of clothing Made in America. I had commented about an article that was written, I believe in Mother Jones about a reporter who tried to buy just American for a week and had great difficulty. Even in my own neck of the woods where the twin cities of New Bedford and Fall River were home to the textile industry saw all of that go away. Once humming factories have long since been converted to office space, apartments, outlet stores, or gone up in infernos fueled by floors soaked for decades by oil from sewing machines. In my lifetime, I saw the great Fall River Knitting Mills go the way of the dinosaur. They used to make great sweaters, but started to lose business from off-shore where they don't have child labor laws or worker's rights.
So rather than just getting product from overseas, they are now exporting whole jobs. It is more blatant, but guess what. There is nothing you can do about it. That's right nothing. What are you going to do to a company like IBM? Stop buying ThinkPads? Um, no, they sold that out to Lenovo. So what can we do? Nothing.
I hate to be a downer, businesses are in the business of creating profit and big returns for their investors. They outsourced a lot of manufacturing. What did they have left? Jobs. They have to turn a profit, that is what our culture demands. So they start cutting jobs to keep the returns via dividends coming. After all, when the economy takes a downturn, investors shouldn't take the hit. Cut executive salaries, are you nuts? Like Boston radio host Jay Severend said, and mind you, I don't agree with him or his ways, but happened to hear him talking about this, if you reduce executive salaries then the only people you will get to run the companies are some professors from Harvard. I think the point being made is that these guys know how to run a business but don't make the million dollar salaries. Well, maybe that is what we need. Because quite frankly these guys that are running the companies for million dollar salaries and bonuses to match, are driving companies in the ground. The unfortunate part is they are driving our economy into the ground also.
So, what I have to ask all these economic gurus that were saying how great things were as the DOW broke 13000, how long did you think this paradigm would work? At some point we had to reach that tipping point where we got rid of so many jobs that it started to affect retail sales. And of course, because companies are stuck in that old paradigm, just react in the same way they have been conditioned, they lay off workers. So even more people are put on the bread lines and guess what, retail sales go down, oh of course, execpt Walmart. So with sales down, profits down, what do companies do, the only thing left they can, lay off more workers.
Of course, at some point we had to hit the tipping point.
So this news about IBM putting 4,000 more workers on the skids and sending the jobs to India is just a continuation of the same old paradigm. Why can't we do anything? Well, besides these corporate execs not listening, IBM with the sale of its PC division to Lenovo got out of the consumer market. They sell services to corporations. Since sending jobs overseas allows them to sell those services for a lower price, corporations, their customers, are happy. Are you beginning to see how this paradigm is like a snake eating its own tail? At some point, you run out of tail.
So to hear people in shock about this economy, in shock about how retail sales are down, housing sales are down, car sales, in shock that we have to have yet another round of layoffs.
So what we need is a new paradigm. We need a way to get all these people back working. Unfortunately, until we do, we will just continue this spiral.
In the interim, maybe we should relearn the old ways. Start by planting mini-gardens. Be sure to use heirloom seeds so that you can keep your own seeds and be able to replant the next year. Learn how to can and preserve foods. Learn how to make your own bread. Our grandparents and great-grandparents survived the depression by coming together and helping each other. So until corporations get the bigger picture and stop being more concerned about investor returns and executive bonuses, than in what they are doing the economy, it is up to us to help each other.

Old Rockers Never Die......

Okay, while I have a few moments, I thought I would share what a great time we had this weekend. I heard a rumour that two rock legends were coming to one of the local venues, the Z in New Bedford. Now I had been turning my kids on to old rock and roll from the likes of the Coasters, Spinners, Beatles, Zappa, Alice Cooper and of course Edgar Winter. So when Edgar came to town with some unknown rocker by the name of Derringer, (just kidding) well my daughter prodded and pleaded. Oh, okay. So the four of us headed out to the Z to catch the show.

Now, I have gone back to playing guitar and started taking lessons with George Dussault. I thought that was a little intimidating as George is also an engineer, so a man who knows his music. Let me tell you though, when Rick started to let loose, I was really intimidated. Man, that guy can play! Then when Edgar Winter came out with his guitarist, Doug Rappaport, I was floored. Of course, George tells me he is going to see Jeff Beck and he could put them both to shame. Um, so I think I can play guitar. Well, okay, for myself and my family, LOL.

Anyway, the Z is a great venue as it is an intimate old theater that has been redone. The seats are horrible, but you soon forget your discomfort because you are right there. We were about six rows back and just far enough back from the speakers.

Let me tell you, I have never seen so many old people at a show since I took my mother to see Steve and Edie on their final tour. Oh, wait, I am one of those old rockers. Lindsey was commenting on how many were still wearing mullets. Hmmm, I don't think we really called them that. She said, "Dad, short hair in front and a pony tail?, Mullet!" Okay, kid, if you say so.

Rick Derringer came out first and put on quite a show. His bass player was a hoot. My kids really went wild when he played Rock and Roll Hoochie-koo. The whole place was rocking when he did his old McCoys tune, Hang on Sloopy. After that, he was my kids hero. Of course, that went up a notch when it was announced that Rick was out in the lobby signing autographs. Both of them were off in a shot. Sean came back all excited to have had him sign his ticket, but was hoping he would sign his shirt, but there were so may people. Lindsey took it up a step and had him sign her Ipod. She is getting a clear case for it to protect the signature. A Rick Derringer signed Ipod,hmmm wonder how much on Ebay? LOL. Well Lindsey came back quivering in excitement.

Lights go down and out comes Edgar Winter. Man, what a show. My wife had never really been a big fan of Edgar Winter, but after that show, she thanked me and told me she had a great time. Oooh points! She wants his new album out because she liked Texas Tornado and Power of Positive Drinking (with Clint Black). The album is Rebel Road. It was all good, but then he reached under his keyboard and pulled out a keyboard that he hung around his neck. Then he asked the crowd if they remembered a little ditty called Frankenstein. What a power house of a song. Edgar went from playing the keyboard to the sax, and then the drums. Just hearing that song live was worth the tickets. I all ready mentioned Doug Rappaport on guitar but Koko Powell on the bass was no slouch, and a newcomer on drums Jason Carpenter, more than held his own and did a smashing job.

Edgar did a version of Tobacco Road that must have lasted a good twenty minutes. At one point, he walked off the stage and left Doug to hammer out one hell of a solo. Then he came back on and started playing a game with each of them where he would do mouth music to make varying riffs and then either Doug, Koko, or Jason would try to copy it. Cindy loved it. She thought it was amazing that they could copy anything Edgar could come up with. Edgar finished out with a rousing version of We All Had A Real Good Time. The crowd went wild and he showed that he still had it after all these years.

I am heading back out to Sedona in September. I found out that he is going to be doing a concert with his brother Johnny, unfortunately at the beginning of the month, while I am going at the end. Ah timing.

The best part of this was when my kids hugged me and thanked me. Lindsey was still wound up about getting Rick Derringer's autograph. Hey, Rick, you still have that affect on girls. LOL. The best thing was, we all had a real good time.

I heard a rumor that McCartney and Ringo were getting together to do a tour. Now if I could score those tickets........

Sorting Through the Haze of Spiritual Fog

"What is the truth?"
"What path is the right path?"

These were questions I yelled out during prayers one day. When I finally quieted my tirade and heaved a sigh and watched the scenery fly by, the answer came back to me, "If I gave you the truth, you would not have the journey."

In that one sentence, it summed up what has been a fascinating journey. One in which each time I thought I found an answer, I came away with ten more questions. I laughingly refer to it as falling down the rabbit hole with Alice.

As many of you who have followed my journey know, I was raised Catholic. I followed a path given to me by others and even came close to becoming a priest. People noted my spiritual nature and because most everyone was Catholic, a priest seemed a good fit. Oh, I was a Youth Minister for a couple of years, but the closest I came to the full commitment was sitting in the Diocesan offices having an interview. The Monsignor was please with my answers until he came to the one, "How do you feel towards women?" Well, now, being Irish, the wit took over before I could catch it, and that old Tommy Tune song from Finian's Rainbow came to mind and out I blurted, "If I can't be with the one I love, I'll love the one I'm with." Bzzzzzt, wrong answer. Thank you for playing, try again another time. Next!

Maybe it was a good thing as I ended up not being locked into a singular dogma that constrained thought to only what came out of the Holy See. Of course, the more I learned about the Catholic Church and its dark underbelly, the more I was happy not to have walked down that path, though I think I would have made one heck of a priest.

Well, my life after that was spent in spiritual fits and starts. The place where I felt most comfortable and at home was in the woods. So it was there that I would talk to God. My personal life had many ups and downs too. Two failed marriages later, I found myself having a breakdown and serious identity issues. I spent five years in counseling only to find that it was okay to believe as I did. My spiritual path was my own and now that I owned it, I had to find out what IT was. I knew from experience that being Catholic was not a fit. So I set out to find out just what I believed and what I could learn. I left my heart open to other paths and investigated at will. Eventually settling down to learn about indigenous healing or as anthrosociologists like to call, shamanism. (Please understand that I know that Native Americans are not shaman, neither are Curanderos or Laikas, it is an eastern European that unfortunately, anthrosociologists like to use to classify all indigneous healers in one lump.) .I investigated many aspects of healing from reading various books about Native American tribes. I read some of the American Shaman writers like Sandra Ingerman, Alberto Villoldo, and many, many others. I read about the sacred drum medicine of the Manianka of Mali. I also took time to read spiriitual writings from Black Elk, Fools Crow, and the Dali Lama. I also learned from Native American friends who were healers.

Let me back track one moment. You may ask why I chose this path. Ever since I was in high school, I have always acted as a "counselor" to others. My school counselor noted this and wanted me to switch my career path from Food Service to psychology. Well, I was going to a regional school and if I switched from Food Service to psychology, I would have had to return to my own school system. So I stayed in Food Service and just continued to do what ever I could to listen and try to help others. This has continued all through my life, and even now I wish I had the time and resources to return to school to take up psychology as my next career. It wasn't just my words and listening that helped to heal. When I was a Youth Minister, one thing people noted was that when I gave the kids back massages after having to sit for long periods, they would say that my hands would get hot and they could feel it go through them. They would soon fall asleep and when they awoke they said it felt like they had slept all night and were The thing is, that when I ran away from Youth Ministry, in part because I feared I was being called to be a priest again, I kind of renounced all my gifts. So part of my journey has been to try to reclaim these gifts so that I may help others. But beyond words and healing hands, I wish to learn about herbal medicine and healing the spirit.

On this path, I have read from many different sources. One of the first books that helped me to open my heart to many paths was a book called Seven Masters One Path by John Selby. John brings together teaching from seven great masters, Krishnamurti, Lao-tzu, Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed, Gurdjieff, and Patanjali in one book to help people to find ways to meditate. I thought at the time, what a concept. Here was a book that actually took these seven teachers from different philosophies and brought them together as equals. No one was saying, you have to believe this, or that, just a collection of great wisdom. So I opened my learning to include Buddhist wisdom, Native American teachings, and even some Hindu teachings. One particular one, I often quote:

“There are hundreds of paths up the mountain,
all leading in the same direction,
so it doesn’t matter which path you take.
The only one wasting time is the one
who runs around and around the mountain,
telling everyone else that their path is wrong.”

Hindu Teaching

I found such profound wisdom in this that I have reposted it on my many blog sites. Another that I found profound came from the Buddha, Siddhartha Gautama:

"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."

How many of us follow a path simply because those who have come before us have done so? We may feel a calling to walk this way or that, but because of tradition, dogma, or just simple peer pressure we follow the path others dictate for us. I offer another quote:

"Leaders don’t force people to follow –they invite them on a journey." – Charles S. Lauer

So I invite you on a journey. A journey of discovery of your own path, your own destiny. I pray that you will step back and look at your beliefs, your dogmas, and reread the quote above from the Buddha. Ask if this truth that you have been following is your truth.

Of course, this isn't always as easy as saying it. One thing on my journey that I have had to attempt to overcome is the societal and religious constraints put on us. When it comes to things spiritual we are told what to believe and what not. If we are to open our hearts and explore our own spiritual path, we have to quell the feelings of disbelief and open ourselves up to the great possibility that we may experience things beyond wonder. The problem I have had is that from a very young age, I was hit with "There is no such things as ghosts", "I believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth. I believe in one Holy Roman and Apostolic church...". How can one overcome a lifetime of being told that there is just one way and supernatural things don't exist? It has been a lot to overcome, but I have seen and heard things that have slowly whittled away at those old beliefs. But they still are there in the shadows ready to jump out and say, this isn't real, I was thinking about this the other day as I was reading a collection of essays in the book, Toward 2012: Perspectives on the Next Age by Daniel Pinchbeck and Ken Jordan

Let me preface before I continue that I have suffered back problems for a while now. I have some arthritis in my back as well as scoliosis and slight whiplash from an accident about six years ago. One of the spots that I have a lot of trouble with is right between the shoulder blades. it feels like someone takes an ice pick and plunges it right into my spine. I see a chiro who fixes me up, but given the amount I drive and moving disk arrays and servers, it doesn't take long to get out of whack again. Of course, the insurance company in their infinite wisdom limits me to twelve visits a year, so the rest of the time, I have to live with the pain. That being said.....

I was reading one of the essays and it introduced a new phenomenon that I had not quite heard of yet, WingMakers. In the essay, the author talks about their experience in "getting their wings". There are some that believe that the approach of 2012 signals the entering into the fifth world and an evolution of man into Homo Luminous. As part of this, some surmise that we will "sprout wings" and take on a more angelic appearance. Of course, as I stated before I have a lot of old dogma to overcome and first impression was to scoff. Right at that moment, as that thought was entering my mind, that stabbing right between the shoulder blades happens. Was it Carl Jung that said there is no such thing as synchronicity? Let me tell you, when you are reading such a thing and then get hit with excruciating pain right in the place where the person is saying that their wings were budding, you really begin to wonder. One of the thoughts that flashed in my head was a memory of my Air Force days. I had been upstairs in Bubba Brown's room with some of the guys playing cards. Of course, being servicemen, with poker, there is drinking. At one point, one of the guys lunged across the table and grabbed Bubba around the throat. He said the devil was inside of Bubba and he had to kill him. Three guys tried to pull him off but couldn't make him budge. I placed a hand on his shoulder and his whole continence changed and he relaxed and released. As soon as I let go, he was back at Bubba. I was not restraining him. I merely touched him. I touched his shoulder again and he released Bubba. I told the guys to get Bubba in the other room and I told his attacker that I was going to take him back to his dorm. He looked at me and smiled. He told me, "I see an angel in you". I kept my hand on his shoulder all the way back to the dorm and when I got him in his room, he just flopped on his bed and passed out. I tell you, it made me start to question.
Of course, wouldn't the next essay in that book be from a former Evangelical who spoke about how we need to relook at Christianity. I think the title was that we had to get Christ out of Christianity. I think it is more like we have to get him back in as he had some great teachings.

I think in the end encountering things like this that make you question and help us to throw off the bonds. As we move from NO WAY, to do you think it is possible? We begin to open our minds and hearts to greater possibilities. Some say that all this hoopla about 2012 and ascension or new worlds, is just a bunch of hoo hah, but what if? What if we stand on the brink of a great jump in the evolution in man and the only thing holding us back is that voice from the past saying, "There's no such thing as ghosts"? What if we free our minds as many indigenous cultures do and open our hearts to the spirits that walk the earth, that may just help and guide us. What if?

Lost Friends and Days Gone By

Maybe it is just getting old, or a touch of nostalgia, or just becoming senile. Who knows, but I found myself trying to look up old friends on the Internet. Let me tell you, that is no easy task. This is especially so, when so many years have past. I don't know what has gotten me in this mood, but I just feel a need to reach out and connect with people I loved so long ago. Like those from my days at Little Rock AFB. When you are in the service you are sometimes more than just friends, but you become family. Now finding the guys is hard enough, but how do you find the women when many may have taken on another name?
I tell you there are many people who I have walked along with through my life. They remain in my memory and always will. Some, I remember their face, in one particular case, their shape, but forgotten their name. Some may have passed on like my good friend Reverend Purdie. I was spiraling down, drinking heavily, when that man helped me to name my demons and turn my life around. My Air Force career would have been ruined and was very close to being so, had he not sat me down. There was Carl, one of the other cooks, but I can't remember his last name, and of course, Rose Marie Harris. All good people. My partner in crime, Mark Watts. We had such a great time together. I had one of the best teams with Mark, Mary Hernandez (engaged at the time to Oscar Ortiz), Yung Cho Healey, Candy Hart, Dottie Chavers, Mama san Chung, Aura Tyte ( I think that was how you spelled her name.) Candy was Dottie's Daughter. Dottie and her husband Jim and I were friends after work also. Oh, and Blondie. I will always remember her as Blondie, though for the life of me can't remember her real name. Others that I hung around with or teamed with every now and then, Dave Kristofferson, Clay Wickham. Clay, his wife Sue, and Karen Shadowens used to hang together. I still remember Noreen Malenga who was Karen's roommate and whom I dated for a bit. My buddy Carl Bullock, who at first we were at each others throat and old Dusty Rhodes had to separate us, but in the end, we were the mobility team that went every where together. There was Ron Krank, and Manny Roman. Roger Samples did the crash kitchen. Bubba Brown and the Bubbettes. Bubba and Clay were from up my way as well as Ron. I remember the uptimes and the down times when we lost Washington in a plane crash. He had come through the line that night and Mark and I fed him, joked as we usually did. I got the call later that night that the plane went down and to alert mortuary services that they had bodies coming in. It still makes me cry to remember that night.
I remember Jim Chavers having to go in for a procedure, er um, down below. Dottie rolled when I stopped at Bayou Catfish Kitchen and brought Jim's favorite. Beans with Jalepenos. I can still hear him when I shut his El Camino's doors, "Take it easy Croft, this ain't a Ford". I had a Torino at the time. I had the hots for Candy, but then so did every other guy on the base. I used to go to her apartment and I think her roommate had the hots for me. She must have, she came out one time in a towel and just let it drop. I just wish I could remember her name. As it turned out, we had mutual relations around the third cousin level.
I tell you if it wasn't for Reverend Purdie, I would have missed out on some great times and some great people. I just wish I could reconnect with some. I found Cruize on Classmates a few years back. I'll never forget when a bunch of us jumped in Danny Stephens truck and drove up to Heber Springs to jump off the cliffs. We put a vodka bottle in the end of a watermelon and wrapped it in a towel. As we drop up the road with it cradled, it looked like we were giving vodka to a baby. The looks we got, but boy was that watermelon good. Of course, drinking and jumping off cliffs isn't exactly smart and I got a broken toe out of the deal, but hey, young, stupid, yep, me.
Another time, Kristofferson and I took a bunch of people out horseback riding. Kris and I used to go to this place a lot and were familiar with the horses. I always took Red, he was on Whitey. One of the guys that came said he was experienced so they gave him Blue. Well, Kris and I trotted on up ahead of the others because the slow pace was killing us. When I came back to check on the others, they were pointing into the woods and told me that Blue took off that way. I told them to wait for Kris and took off into the woods. I got Blue and darn, I can't remember his name, cornered in some brush. I told him to get off Blue and get on Red. He did and then started arguing with me about which way to go to get back to the others. He started off away from everyone, but heh, Red was trained, I whistled for him and he turned around with Ozzie cursing me. I got him back to the others and he had to listen to the ribbing. I guess not everyone from Oklahoma knows how to ride.
Of course there we were caught off guard. We pulled a twelve overnight one time and then took off to Heber Springs for the day. Got back in time to go back to work and pull another twelve. Dog tired by morning and ready to hit our racks when I got the call. Call your men in, this is an alert. Dang, so much for sleep. Wait until the next crew came in to relieve, off to the barracks, change into fatiques, grab duffle and head to the flight line, off to Missouri, set up camp, and then finally get to crash. I was wiped by the time we got back to base, but there was Fred Jenkins telling me I had to work, but sending Mark home. Well, he was married and his wife missed him. Dang, I hated being single at times.
I guess those days in the service will always stay with me. I was fortunate to be between wars. The closest I came was when the hostages were taken in Iran. We were mounted up and ready to go. With the team I had, I think we could have pulled it off. Had I not been stuck in Arkansas for my full hitch, I might have reupped. If they had given me England, I would have been there. Instead, I let my Irish get up and quit the service. Heck, I could have been retired by now.
So if any of you happen along Bossier City and run into Dottie and Jim, tell them I said hey! Last I knew, Mark was still in North Little Rock, though his wife Betty was from Memphis area. Manny is probably back in New York. Ron, maybe in Mass. Danny Stephens in Texas, and Jack Stephens in Illinois, I think. Mary may be back in San Antonio.
I guess I have rambled on for long enough. Let me leave you with something Jack Stephens used to say, "Can't ya see, can't ya tell, don't ya know?" Man that guy could sing I've Been Everywhere better than anyone I know.
Good friends, good memories.
Thanks for listening.

Unity - Impediments to the Colors Coming Together - Change Things?

If you light a lamp for for somebody, it will brighten your path. - Buddhist saying

Whenever we refer to things that are not good, we say they are dark things. Are they truly dark? Or is it that they just don't have enough light shining on them. Over the past few writings, I have sought to bring a light on those things that I perceive are keeping us from finding that world of light, harmony, peace, and abundance for all. Even if it was just a spark of light, it was at least something. As the saying states above, I also took the time as I was writing to look at how I related to others and the world around me. In attempting to shine a light for others to see some of the things I see as things that separate us, I also could look at things in a new light. The question that plays in my mind is have I shown even a spark?

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into a flame by another human being. Each of us owes our deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. - Albert Schweitzer

Given the counts or comments that i have seen, so very few people have gone to, let alone read, what I have written. I have truly believed that I was guided to write what I did. If so, to who was it intended? Yet, as I have come to learn, sometimes it is just that one little spark that gets passed on and soon the spark draws into a flame that grows into a fire. The question is, how can I fan those flames? We have grown so disconnected not only from the world around us, but from each other. In our striving to succeed, be noticed, get ahead, we have put more and more barriers between us. So what can we do? After all, what good is pointing the things that separate us without also offering possible paths of reconnection.

Well for one, start honoring each others paths. Stop being the one running round and round the mountain telling everyone else they are on the wrong path. Take the time to learn and understand others paths. In removing ignorance, we can keep ourselves from being drawn into the hate and prejudice that separate us. We can start by not getting drawn into the hate being put against Muslims around the world. The whole religion is being condemned because of terrorists who happen to be Muslim. If we were to do that, Christians would have a lot to answer to, ask any former prisoner of the Indian Schools. We need to stop treating whole religions, countries or races for the acts of people who are a subset of those groups. Maybe if we all got a copy of Idiot's Guide to Islam, or Hinduism, or any of the other faiths that we interact, don't understand, and need to understand in order to accept and relate.

Another thing we can do is to start looking at how we relate to each other. Whenever we have a negative feeling towards another, take a moment to ask ourselves why? What is it about this other person that makes us feel off? In’ lakesh, I am another you. Think of this when relating to another. Think of them as another copy of you on a different path, with different clothes, maybe a different skin color, hair, eyes. If it really was another you, what would you say to them? What would you ask them? What could you learn from them?

Rather than accepting what our leaders tell us about another country, go to the library, buy a book, learn for yourself. Buddha Gautama Siddhartha said, "“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.” Why then do we simply accept what is spoon fed us by the media and our own government. Who knows, maybe you might just find some interesting things about these other countries that you never knew.

Get out to the woods! I can not stress this enough. I do not get out to the woods enough and I practically lived there as a boy. The only way we are going to learn to respect nature is to get out in it. If we become familiar with that tree or stream or stone, would we so readily plow it over? Wonder out in the woods and find a stump or rock to sit on for a bit and just sit out in the quiet of the woods and take it all in. Soon, you will find that it isn't so quiet. The woods are alive with sound. Whether it is the jay screaming "tief, tief", or the woodpecker rat-a-tat-tatting on the tree above you, or the squirrel scampering on the branches, the rabbit hopping along, or the croaking of the frog, the chirp of the cricket, the wind whispering in the pine, the woods are a cacophony of sound. Sit there for a bit and look around at all the trees and wildlife. Okay, now picture it as a parking lot and shopping center, or a new housing development where the trees have all been leveled and houses that no one can afford have been erected. Can you let these new relations be wiped out for another Walmart?

I wish I knew what to suggest on the job front. Too many companies are laying off more and more people to balance their books and keep the money going to shareholders, but then sit scratching their heads because sales are down. Um, duh, you aren't the only company laying off and with everyone worrying about surviving, there is no discretionary cash to spend on a new TV or Blue Ray player. Got to love Hyundai's new commercials saying that if you lose your job, they will buy your car back. Okay, but a car basically drops $1,000 in value going out of the lot, are they going to pay you what you owe? Or are they going to give you blue book? I understand the mentality. It is all about trying to sell cars when no one is buying because of the economy. But I digress as I usually do. The other problem with trying to change the mindset of corporations is that upper management is not going to listen. Worse, I have even heard it said before the last time we were in a down economy, you don't like it, go get another job. They know you are stuck and take advantage of it. The Big Three automakers didn't get it when they were pointing their finger at labor costs as the major problem as they arrived in their private jets. Hey, I am open to any suggestions from people that might help others to change the mindset of corporate America.

When it comes down to it, we are the spark. If we don't start fanning the flames of change, nothing will ever change. As Desmond Tutu said, "Do your little bit of good where you are; its those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." I think the first step in doing this is to look at our own hearts. Take a few minutes each day and remind yourself as you start the day that we are truly all related. Say to yourself that each and every person you meet during the day is another aspect of yourself. If you encounter someone that you find offense with, instead of focusing out towards them, ask yourself, am I seeing within them something that I don't like about myself? have I ever acted like this person to another? Am I judging this person on preconceived notions, learned prejudices, or even media influences? Now look at that person again. Is there something in that person that you see as good? Are we so locked on the negative that we cannot see past it to find that good?

For the past two years I have been writing on Unity and Reconnecting. I have felt that I was led to write the things I have. That it was now time for the people to come together. One heart, one spirit. I have been disillusioned over the two years, feeling that though I was guided to write what I have, no one was reading. Well, some of you were. I have had some tell me that my writings are too long and take too long to read. I am only being the "hollow bone" as Grandfather Fools Crow says. I just start and let it flow. I have been told that a white person doesn't belong walking the red path. They told me to go be a Buddhist. All I can respond to that is thanks, as I took the time to read some Buddhist writings and found more great wisdom there, including the quote from the Buddha that I included above. My path has led me on many winding roads that has exposed me to many traditions, wisdoms, situations, and especially the people who have helped me to learn and grow. So yes, while I was trying to light the path, that light shown for me to see new things and look at life and my own connections in a new way.

I think I am going to take some time to address my own path. I truly want to get back to the woods. I also have another three sand paintings that I was supposed to have made last year, but kept putting off. I have to finish the pipe bag that I have to bead the turtle on. I have to basically get back to my own training so that I can better serve the people. To think that much of this all started with the vision of the turtle that is in the picture here. The shell is divided into thirteen segments. Three of each of the four colors and the center of the shell a combination of all the colors representing the coming together. This is the turtle that I painted with colored sands on the desert floor during a ceremony in New Mexico. I painted the same turtle of colored sand on a granite ledge back here in Massachusetts. I truly believed that the ceremony that I performed was to set the spirit of that turtle free to travel across all of turtle island to unite the people. It is said that at Black Elk's passing, he wept because he did not see his vision come to fruition. I pray that I will have a different fate. I pray that the spirit of unity that the turtle represents will cross all of turtle island and that somehow, someway, the people will reconnect with each other. Instead of fighting over scarcer and scarcer resources we will come together to find solution that will help all people. It all starts with ourselves. We have to start relating to each other from the heart. We have to treat each other and all of creation as if each person that we encounter, whether human, tree person, rock person, four legged, winged, or others, as if they were another of ourselves. We especially need to stop looking at nature as a thing to be plundered.
I am another you.
My heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.

Unity - Impediments to the Colors Coming Together - Sex, Gender, Orientation

We seem to be constantly looking for way to differentiate ourselves, to separate ourselves from others. Is it ego that drives this need to be different, better, special? Over the past few writings I have talked about the many ways that we have come to push ourselves apart from each other, to disconnect from each other, and from all of life. Whether we use imaginary boundaries and call them countries, differences in the way we perceive our spiritual beliefs and call it religion, or differences in the shades of our skin and call it race, we try to find the smallest difference and blow it up and point to it to say, "See, I am better than you!" As if this weren't bad enough, we also use sex, gender, and sexual orientation as one more weapon in our arsenal of separation.
Before I get too deep into this, let me first differentiate between these three. While many applications may read sex or gender when referring to the request for information as to whether you are a man or a woman, the truth is, that should say sex. Sex is the physiological differentiation between men and women. Of course, we are so into our black and white world, that we see this as an either/or proposition. Yet, in truth, all three are linear and we fall some place on the line. There are some who are born with both male and female genitalia. Decisions are made either by the doctor or the parents and the sex is decided by others. In one such case, the person grew up with a condition known in the DSM-IV as Gender Dysphoria. This is where they grow up feeling that they are in conflict with their bodies. They perceive themselves to be a gender opposite than what their physical attributes would say. In other words, they may feel they are a woman in a man's body. Or they may feel they are a man in a woman's body. In the aforementioned case, the person grew up with gender dysphoria and then found out later that they had been born with both genitalia and the doctor made a choice. They sought out the doctor to kill them. In this case, the doctor guessed wrong. This isn't always the case though. Please do not confuse transgendered people with transexuals. There is a distinct difference between the two.
Gender is the way we perceive ourselves regardless of our genitalia. This is also linear and not quite black and white. We sometimes see this as masculine and feminine traits. We don't fall either distinctly as one or the other but rather fall somewhere along the line. For the most part our minds are in alignment with our bodies, but if people understood what people who suffer gender dysphoria had to go through, they wouldn't be giving the sneers and jeers behind their backs.
The same can be said for sexual preference. Of course California's passing of Proposition 8 shows how we use sexual preference to separate us. Why is it so important for people to push their own idea of right and wrong on others? Science has shown us that even in the animal kingdom there are gay animals. There is some evidence that it may be genetically passed down. I have one question for those who are so against gays have equal rights as everyone else, and use God as their justification, what if he intentionally created gays in order to control population? Why, if God is so against it, there is evidence of gay animals? I think it was in Legally Blond 2 that the Senator admits his dog is gay. Yet, if you mention science, then those against claim that it is Gay agenda and not real science. The thing is what if all those who claim that it is against God are wrong. What if it is God's intention? Are you willing to continue to say that gays are lesser than you and an abomination? Of course, there are those that will say that maybe those who speak loudest against and are most fearful of the "gay agenda" really are afraid of their own desires. After all, just as sex and gender aren't exactly black and white, neither is sexual orientation. We actually fall somewhere along a line. Sometimes having feelings for both sexes, or bisexual. The "B" in LGBT. (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered).
Of course, there is still issues between men and woman and the "gender barrier" known as the glass ceiling. This spawned the feminist movement that sought to bring equality. It took many years, but a woman can be a CEO of a company now. Back in the 60's, the Civil Rights movement sought to level the playing field with regards to race. Today we have a black man on the verge of being President. Why can't we skip the whole movement and just shoot straight for equality and just accept everyone as an equal?
Maybe if we focused more on our own paths and not spending so much time telling everyone else they are on the wrong path, we all can get up the mountain without stepping on everyone else to get there.
My heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.